Have a Heart: A Lesson in
Hypocrisy I've always maintained that Christians are
hypocritical to perfection, but what's most entertaining are
all the rationalizations they use to justify it. What
follows is a true story that happened to yours truly back in
late December of 1993. Let it serve as a textbook
example to illustrate my point. Only the names have been
changed to protect the hypocritical.
After two and a half years of
remission, my doctor discovered a slow-growing tumor
growing between my lungs, pushing up against my heart.
There was no way of knowing it without a biopsy, but all
indications pointed toward malignancy.
An old buddy of mine's mother and
her long-time gentleman friend (who coincidently had his own
profound ongoing medical problems) were militantly devout
Christians. I was close with their extended family and
friends, and anything significant going on in my life was
known to them. Likewise, I was clued-in to what was
going on in their lives. I was a regular fixture
at every event and they thought of me as
family.
My friend and his wife (we'll
call them Jerry and Sue) knew I that was not a believer but
kept it under their hats. The rest of their
family was pretty devout and thought that I was a
practicing Jew. I was godfather (long story, don't
ask...) to one of their daughters, so mum was the
word.
Shortly after receiving the news
that there was a tumor present in my chest requiring a median sternotomy
to remove, I first told my family, followed by friends and
select co-workers. The news spread quickly and
eventually found its way to Jerry's mother and her
Jesus-loving gentleman friend, who we'll call Sheila and
Tim.
My surgery was scheduled about three weeks
out after the first of the year. Two weeks prior was
Christmas, and Sue's aunt and uncle held a yearly Christmas
Eve gathering in their home. I was always invited
to this gathering to which 100 or so people
would show up. Honestly, I looked forward to it each and
every December. The people knew how to throw one
hell of a party, and because of her uncle's Hollywood
connections several well-known character actors would always
attend.
Everyone knew about my
relapse. Each one in turn approached me delicately and
with tact as most people would. I think your average Joe
would want you to know that they were aware of what was going
on, offer their assistance in any way possible, and not make a
big production out of it. And that's exactly what
everyone did, except Tim. I should have seen it
coming. I didn't.
Jerry, Sue, Tim, and Sheila
arrived at the house together. Jerry spotted me
immediately and called my name from across the crowded living
room and caught my eye. Tim, now aware of my presence,
walked quickly (he practically ran) towards me, pushing people
aside as if on his way to save a dying man. Without so
much as a "hello" or handshake, Tim placed one open palm on my
stomach (about 10 inches below the tumor...oops!), wrapped his
free arm around my back, pulled me close, and started praying
over me. I wish I could recall his exact words, but I
was absolutely livid and my mind started to race with thoughts
of the profound physical assault that I wanted to
commit. I looked up to see Jerry and Sue (now standing
about 10 feet away) giving me this look as if to say,
"PLEASE, BITE YOUR FUCKING LIP!"
I tried to remind myself that
this was a concerned quasi-family member who feared for my
life, and he hadn't a clue that I rejected his god (as well as
all others). I swear on my mother's eyes, had it been
anyone else I would have beat this son of a bitch within an
inch of his life. But I choked back my emotions and let
the delusional fellow finish his plea to Jesus to cure my
cancer and save my life so that I may see the light and honor
his holy name. So in the spirit of the holiday season
and as a favor to my friend Jerry, I let it slide and allowed
a peaceful feeling to come over me as he finished his
unreasonably long prayer. It probably took
but a minute, but it felt like an hour. Okay, so I
felt a little bit better about it...until....
As Tim broke his embrace, this
little shit patted me on the back and said, "Now you go back to your doctors at UCLA and
tell them you don't need their help anymore. You tell
them that the power of JESUS cured
you!"
Okay, I was furious again.
Steam must have been coming out of my ears because Jerry, who
obviously heard Tim's final comment, grabbed my arm and
quickly pulled me away. He cheerfully said, "Hey, I
have to tell you about that thing I saw the other day..."
or some other equally vague verbal subterfuge. We
retreated to the kitchen where he apologized and asked for the
sake of his mother for me to let it slide. I suppose I
rationalized it all away. Why the hell not? I had
bigger fish to fry at the time anyway. So I complied
with my friend's request and pretended that the highly
offensive religious assault never took place.
Later that evening we all
departed for home with no intention of speaking about the
event again, but Tim and Sheila hit the road basking in the
glory of a miraculous healing by the grace of Jesus.
Fine. At their age (around 65, I guess) one more
delusion wasn't going to dull their senses any more than they
already were.
But wait folks. The story's
about to get MUCH better.
About a week later I checked into
the hospital at UCLA and underwent the median sternotomy that
would reveal the truth. Needless to say, when they
cracked me open the tumor was still there. (Sorry, guys,
but I'm afraid I really did need my doctors after all.
That's Strike One against Dr. Jesus, buddy boy.)
But was the tumor benign? If so, was it always benign,
or was it once malignant but Jesus healed me? Or was the
tumor malignant and Tim's prayers had just fallen upon deaf
ears?
I'm sure I don't have to tell you
that the tumor was in fact malignant. (The story would
suck otherwise, eh?)
And I suppose it should come as
no surprise that neither Tim nor Sheila ever came to see me in
the hospital. I can assure you that these two
muttonheads eagerly awaited the results so that they could
give credit to Jesus for my miraculous healing. But I
made sure that Jerry let them both know that the tumor was
malignant. I would have loved to tell them myself, but
the little cowards refused to show their faces. That's
Strike Two, kids. Must be god's will I
suppose.
Anyway, I recuperated and healed
quickly and went back to my old routine just as fast.
Just for the record, unlike my first and third bouts with the
disease, my doctors opted not to treat me with chemotherapy or
radiation. The entire tumor (and the surrounding tissue)
came out cleanly, so there was nothing nasty left behind to
treat.
In the months that followed the
surgery, from time to time when Tim and Sheila were around,
I'd manage to direct the topic of conversation to my
surgery. Look, I'm an evil bastard. I admit
it. It brought me joy to remind them that the tumor was
malignant and that the doctors saved my life. They were
smart enough to keep their mouths shut, and that put a smile
on my face.
But wait again folks. The
story's about to get even better.
Sometime later that summer I
received some jaw-dropping news. It came to pass that
Tim's heart was failing -- and failing badly. (He had
battled heart disease for many years prior to this
incident.) Well, praise irony because Tim needed a heart
transplant! Yes, it was true. This godless bastard
was absolutely ecstatic -- not because Tim was ill and might
very likely die, but rather because there was before me a
chance to bask in the irony of tables turned on a hypocritical
Christian. The planets must have been in perfect
alignment or something because a chance like this comes along
but once in an atheist's lifetime. Now the real test was
to commence. What was poor old Timmy going to do?
Was he going to follow his own advice and rely on the laying
of hands for a cure? Was he going to tell his doctor
that his services were no longer needed? Yeah, uh
huh. Don't hold your breath.
Well, as you could have guessed,
this miserable son of a bitch decided to secure the services
of a team of UCLA doctors and get his name on the heart donor
recipient list. Believe me, Jesus wasn't even in his
forethought when he got the news because his name was on that
list faster than a televangelist steals collection plate cash
to pay his mortgage and support his coke and hooker
addiction. I know for a fact, there was no laying of the
hands for Tim. So much for faith.
And I really
didn't care that this was a man in danger of losing his
life. I say this unabashedly and unapologetically.
(I was in his shoes twice before -- with a third
round to come less than three years later. He couldn't
compare bedpans with me on his worst day.)
Understand that I had no
intention of being mean to him (I wasn't), but there was no
way in hell that I wasn't going to feed him the same line he
fed me when I was in danger of losing my life.
Without recounting the exchange
(the details of which were delightful to me but unimportant to
the story), being hypocritical to perfection, Tim explained
that "this is different" and that Jesus was going to work
through his doctors to save his life and provide a heart when
the time was right. What I really wanted to tell this
miserable hypocritical little troll was, "GO FUCK
YOURSELF, ASSHOLE!"
That's Strike Three, Timmy.
Jesus is out!
In the end, Tim got his new heart
and anti-rejection drugs kept him alive and kicking as if that
new heart was his own since birth. While I'd be a liar
if I told you that I wouldn't have chuckled out loud had the
transplant failed, know that I'm truly happy it didn't.
Jerry was my friend and I wouldn't want to see his family
suffer. However, I'll happily confess being more than
slightly irked by the sad byproduct of his good fortune: he
and Sheila were able to wrap themselves even tighter in their
delusion by giving all the thanks and praise to Jesus for
saving his life.
Yes, Timmy. Delusion is
bliss, ain't it?
Double-Standard Court in
Session: Judge Hypocrite
Presiding Disclaimer:
This rant is not about whether Christians are allowed
to judge others. Some Christians say yes, some say no,
but that's another debate for another day. (You can
start preparing now though. Check out the links at the
end of this piece to behold some very impressive
chapter-and-verse tap dancing, self-deception, and first-class
hypocrisy.) No, what I want to discuss now are those
Christians who believe that only god may judge his
creations.
Some say, Only God can judge
me.
What a steaming, festering,
intellectually dishonest lode of flaming horse
shit.
So I was waiting in line at a
local sandwich shop one afternoon, and there was a young guy
standing in front of me sporting a tattoo that read, "Only
God Can Judge Me."
Please forgive the poor quality
of the picture (left) as all I had with me at the time was my
cell phone camera. I asked if I could take a picture to
show a few of my friends who might find it
interesting.
I saw no need to reveal my true
motive. (After all, I'm a god-hating lying minion of
Satan, right?) He was a nice kid, very gracious, and
quite flattered that someone admired his ink, so I fed his
delusion and thanked him for the photo.
I swear I've seen this phrase
tattooed so many times that I've lost count. In fact, I
saw the same stain on a guy's arm at the gym just a few days
prior to this one. Anyway, I've been meaning to pen this
rant for at least a couple of years now, so I took these two
sighting as a sign from god to finally sit my ass down and
scratch out a few thoughts on the matter.
Christians love to cherry pick
the precepts of their religion as if it were some kind of
cafeteria-style belief system. They decide which rules
and maxims are valid [read: convenient] and decide (on a case
by case basis) when they apply and when they don't. They
invent their own footnotes to bible mandates and manufacture
the most mind-numbingly stupid and disingenuous
rationalizations to maintain their faith and their intellect
when bible lore and common sense collide.
For example, let's look at the
bedrock mandate of our god-given behavioral code: THOU SHALL NOT KILL. (That's
Commandment 6, Exodus 20-13 in case you flunked Sunday
school.) Four short, simple words.
It's crystal clear, concise, absolute, and
final.
Thou shall not kill.
Period. No footnotes. No qualifications. No
exceptions. No provisos. No disclaimers. No
equivocations. Just
don't kill, okie
dokie?
Without going through the litany
of things we kill (including but not limited to people,
animals, insects, plants, viruses, bacteria, diseases, hopes
and dreams), it is abundantly clear that people "kill" every
single day. And sometimes they're killing doctors who
perform abortions and perverts who rape and murder innocent
little kids.
Given all this room for ambiguity
and error, don't you think our perfect creator could have been
a little clearer when he laid down the law? This would
have been especially helpful in light of all those other bible
stories and instructions (e.g. what we may or may not eat)
that seem to conflict with the crystal clear rule that
commands us to not kill. I mean, would it have been that
big a deal to scratch a few disclaimers into that stone?
Maybe "Thou shall not kill unless..." would have made a bit
more sense.
But putting aside all the
semantics and wordplay, many Christians seem to think
Commandment 6 applies to babies in the womb, but should that
baby be born then it's okay to send them off to war to kill
brown people who threaten our way of life in this great
Christian nation. And if one of those children should
meet their maker because some sub-human scumbag couldn't
control his sick impulses, they think it's just fine and dandy
(perhaps even righteous and fun!) to strap that sick twist
into a chair and cook his ass real good.
Okay, fine. The murder
thing ain't that big a deal because (fortunately) the majority
doesn't run around killing people. And I'm okay with
their generally collective agreement to ignore good ol' #6 and
rid society of Ted Bundy, Richard Ramirez (soon to be
executed), Gary Gilmore, Jeffrey Dahmer, Timothy McVeigh, the
Rosenberg's, and all the others who couldn't play nicely with
the rest of us.
I'll give Christians a hall pass
on the rest as perhaps god wanted us to eat all (or at least
most) of his lovely tasty creatures. And those that we
don't chow down on he most certainly wanted us to murder so
that we may wear their skin, or maybe just for the sport of
it. Evil bastard chinchillas and mink! There's not
even enough meat on their bones for a late night snack.
And sparing the life of vegetation was just an obvious
oversight on god's part. I don't trust asparagus
anyway. Makes my pee stink. And since I have a
strong vested interest in maintaining my current health state
I'll forget about the cruelty we impose upon cancer, viruses,
bacteria, and the like.
But enough of that. Let's
get back to all that judging.
The morons who continually spew
that "only god can judge me" tripe constitute the WORST
offenders of Christian hypocrisy. Let's take a closer
look, shall we?
to form an opinion about
through careful weighing of evidence and testing of
premises
to sit in judgment on
to determine or pronounce
after inquiry and deliberation
to form an
estimate or evaluation of (specifically, to form a negative
opinion about)
to hold as an
opinion
Intellectual honesty time.
When someone says "Who are you to
judge me?" (or similar phrasing) they're referring
to definition 4. The
implication is that you've formed a negative opinion of them
based on your own personal biases. Any Christian who
spews such bunk is a first-class hypocrite. Any other
argument is a bullshit excuse. We make "informed
decisions" about investments, career opportunities, purchases,
and the people we choose to interact with. Character
judgments [long pause to make my
point] are based purely on emotion and bias.
Everyone judges, and we do so
every single god damn day. And I'm not even talking
about innocuous judging, like choosing decaf over regular
coffee. No, I'm talking about impactful life altering
decisions that affect us and others directly and
indirectly.
POOF! You're now a Human
Resources manager and you're charged with hiring a
[fill-in-the-blank customer-facing position of extreme
importance, trust and confidence]. In the door walks
candidate Joe, and he's reeking of alcohol. He hasn't
shaved in two weeks, bathed in days, he's dressed in shorts
and a blood-stained torn t-shirt. He can't form a
coherent sentence but swears and spews racial epithets every
10 seconds. You just checked his credentials.
Turns out he's an incompetent boob and his own work and
character references have nothing positive to say about
him. He was fired from his last three jobs for theft of
corporate assets, poor performance, insubordination, and
repeated accusations of sexual harassment. He's also a
convicted child molester and rapist.
Now your ass is on the
line. Will you hire him and why (or why
not)?
STOP! Ssshhh,
Bubbeleh. Don't say a word. You've judged him on
so many levels that your head is spinning. Judge not lest you be judged!
And don't even think about dropping your "That's not the
same!" feces in my presence. It is the
same. And just like commandment 6, there are no footnote
exceptions or qualifications to judging.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know
all those apparent [making huge quote fingers] "exceptions"
you'd love to quote, but sorry, those are called
rationalizations (if not outright biblical
contradictions). God wants you to be aware of false
prophets so that's permission to judge? No. That's
permission to make an informed decision. This catch-all
rationalization provides a lovely excuse for what you just did
to job candidate Joe, but that's all it is: a disingenuous bullshit intellect-saving
rationalization.
If you have a morsel of
intellectual honesty you'll confess your condemnation of
Joe. (FYI, I would have done the same.)
Either you can judge, or you
can't. End of discussion. And quite frankly, I
couldn't give an itty bitty rat's tushy which stance you
take. I'm just disgusted by those who want to have it
both ways. (Just a little consistency, folks.
That's all I ask.)
If you're going to tender an
answer to my question it better sound a little like, "No,
I wouldn't hire that cretin because I've judged him to be
incompetent, untrustworthy, morally-impaired,
incorrigible and physically repulsive."
Anything else would constitute a big, fat,
commandment-breaking lie.
And I can't help but wonder if
you'd be swayed to change your summation of the disgusting
fellow and hire him if he played the "only god can
judge me" card. The answer of course is no. You
know it, I know it.
Okay, so the guy was physically
repulsive, had a felony rap sheet, stole a few laptops from
work, spewed hateful comments, and grabbed the hot
receptionist's ass a few times. Awful yes, end of the
world no. But we do judge people who commit profoundly
hideous, morally reprehensible acts. And we judge them
without giving it a second thought.
One day several years ago I
posted a comment on a public forum where I passed moral
judgment on some garden variety low-life street vermin who
committed one act or another of questionable morality.
It wasn't an act of murder or cruelty, but it was something
worthy of shame. (Sorry, it was too long ago to remember
the specifics.)
Then some Christian jackass
responded to me. He wrote, "You
must be the most moral person in the world to hold
this man's life in your hands and judge him the way you
have."
[Heads up for context: A few
weeks prior, some other guy let loose with a gun in a
community center and shot five children dead.]
My response to him was, "The man
who just killed those five kids at the community center is
sub-human slime. I judge him as not fit to live in our
society. Tell me, if he shot YOUR child would you still
hold the same position and utter those same words?"
He sent me a private email that
read, "If he even looked at my
child in a questionable way I'd send him home with his teeth
in a fucking bag."
I judge murders, rapists,
pedophiles, spouse, child, and animal abusers, those who scam
the elderly out of their life savings, and religious fanatics
who fly planes into buildings. I judge them to be very
bad people. And you're an awful person if you don't
think likewise. Don't agree with me? Fine.
I'm right, you're wrong. Now go home and beat the crap
out of your kids. People who think like you won't pass
judgment. Maybe you can all become good
friends.
It's time to embrace reality,
people. You make moral judgements every single
day. But here's the good news. I agree with
you. I really do. We're both on the same
page. We judge, we should judge, and we'd be worse off
if we didn't. Only difference is, I don't pretend
not to. And I don't spew that profoundly
hypocritical and patently dishonest "who am I to judge" horse
crap.
Judging is good. Judging
works. And judging has its place, whether it be on moral
grounds or founded in something of lesser significance or
importance. And we'd be in deep shit if we didn't judge
at all.
If you're a Christian, don't bother sending
me your tired, lame excuses to rationalize your hypocrisy
or diffuse my charge. I'm not interested in what you are
willing to admit to me. My only interest lies in what
you are willing to admit to yourself. And we both know
exactly what that is.
Finally, for those incurable
duplicitous judgers looking for inane rationalizations to
justify their hypocrisy, I suggest the following websites
(below). This just may help you sleep better
tonight.
The Hypocrite's Mantra: Once Saved, Always
Saved Sit
back and enjoy a few disgusting displays of
textbook Christian hypocrisy. Watch how these
Do-As-I-Say'ers play the Get Out of Jail Free
Card when it suits their needs.
Click here to read a
Christian Prayers Forum exchange and watch how Tamara's
buddies in Christ reminder her that it's okay for her to
be a WANTON LIBIDINOUS
WHORE. You see, she's been saved, so all that
whoring is nothing to lose any sleep over (...not that she was
getting much sleep to begin with). Love the sinner
and hate the sin, they reminded her. Of course, we
all know that I'd be DAMNED
TO HELL FOR ETERNITY for the same transgression because
Jesus isn't my pal. (Click here to read the
exchange in PDF format in case the posting was
deleted.)
This next exchange was taken from
a 4hurtingchristians.com chat
room. (The name says it all, doesn't it. Can't you
just smell the pending hypocrisy and
mind-numbingly stupid rationalizations coming down the
pike?) Anyway, in this particular dialog you'll
find that the sinner in question is a CALCULATING, COLD-BLOODED MURDERER!
Of course we all know that she'll be getting away with
her crime because her good buddy Christ paid the price for
her.
Posted: May 19, 2005 -
2:31 AM Subject: forgive i feel really
guilty for having abortion father god forgive me please
pray for my soul in jesus name
Posted: May 19, 2005 -
11:22 AM :pray
Posted: May 19, 2005 -
2:43 PM when we confess our sins he is
faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and
cleanse us from all unrightousness. my prayer for you:
Lord Jesus, Heavenly father thankyou for taking lees
sins for her. Thankyou Lord that you are bigger and more
powerful than any sin we can commit and thankyou that
nothing can separate us from the love of God, ever. Lord
thankyou that lee is your child, that she is priceless,
precious and beautiful in your eyes. Thankyou Lord that
you have given Lee a heart that shines with your love
and i thankyou Lord that as she hurts and grieves you
are there. I pray that lee feels your amazing grace and
love raining down on her today. I pray in Jesus name
amen.
Posted: May 19, 2005 -
5:07 PM :cry: thank you dove for not judging
me or thinking that i am not worthy may god bless you
and help you in jesus name
Posted: May 19, 2005 -
6:47 PM I will lift you up in prayer as well
Lee. :pray Father, Oh God, would You just please bless
Lee and forgive all she has done wrong, Lord, for You
know that we are not perfect Lord and that we all sin.
Lord just assure her in her walk with You Lord that she
will be comforted by You in all that she does Lord. I'm
sure she's a great person. Lord I thank You that she had
the courage to step forward and realize she had done
wrong Lord and that she's asking for Your help as well
as ours Lord. I just give this situation to You Lord,
for thats all we can do. In Your name, Amen. :pray
You did the right thing Lee, confessing that you had
done wrong. May the Lord be with you in all that you do.
All my love, Michelle
Posted: May 19, 2005 -
8:43 PM Here goes, (Oh no, go put the kettle
on) HEY, (laughs). Try and keep it short, be a miracle I
know, :lol: First and I might be wrong, but
going by a testimony once, I would strongly suggest that
the unborn baby is with God anyway. I don't say this to
make light of the situation, but in saying that, come
here, :hug Cry, cry, cry, but don't look at me, makes me
cry, :lol: Seriously not that I wasn't being.
Once again, I see no sin in you, no worse than anyone
else. Look what Moses did, we forget that Saul, ST Paul
delighted, well, maybe not delighted, but willingly went
around killing Christians. Yet look what He went on to
right. What matters is what is in your heart, what
matters is where you are when Jesus returns. This is a
tricky one, the once saved always saved. I as usual go
to the Bible, like any issue, if we were not in fear of
falling away, why does Paul bother to write those
letters. Now one answer could be that if they fell away
they would then lead others to in future. Well we see
this today, but no I won't go into that, cults,
denominations, etc, living my rituals. I tell you the
truth, God will love and accept you far more and you'll
enter heaven well ahead of anyone that claims to be
doing alright. What is in your heart that counts, if you
are born again, truly repented, accept Jesus, no
worries. Because if we condemn you, we condemn
ourselves. when I do what I do, I'm as guilty as you, or
as innocent as you. Actually nothing we can do to be
lost, (wow, LEE contradiction, err on the side of
caution, take that back, shut your mouth, NOW.)
IF, wait for it, if we repent. Does
that give us a licence, no, because if we are genuine,
we do what, strive to get close to God, what happens
when we do this, receive and use His Holy Spirit more.
Then what happens, the Spirit changes our lives, shapes
our lives. As Joyce Meyer right said, "I don't wanna rob
the gas station, I don't wanna do any of those things,
because Christ lives in me." "Sometimes I would like to
smack somebody though (laughter) but the Bible doesn't
say thou shall not smack." "You gonna get angry once in
awhile, just get it taken care of real quick." Lee, my
namesake, we all do things, every day while driving I
look at women, that's it, committed adultery, that easy.
Yet I worry more when that later can lead to my falling
in my usual autosexuality. WHY is it I hold the doing
worse than the thinking when in Matthew 5:27 Jesus said
it is as bad, worse. Arr, yes but that I believe is a
message for those not saved. Those children of Israel,
gentiles that want to live according to the law, buy
their way into heaven. Satan's biggest con today in the
Western world, helped by TV, is that we are good, got to
be doing enough good to get to heaven. Jesus makes it
clear, I am the way the truth and the life no one comes
to the Father accept by me. No you are no worse than the
smoker, slowing distroying their lungs, me eating wrong
foods, having evil dirty thoughts, playing with myself,
so it goes on, gettting defensive, snapping back in that
sensitiveness, which one would you like to throw the
stone at me for. so finally, finally, the difference,
we repent. WHY ARE YOU HERE, exactly, I boldly, God
forgive if wrong, but I doubt it, declare that God has
not only forgiven your Sin, but long forgotten it.
Difference between us and the world, is you came, you
are crying tears, hurting, (I'm holding you) :hug WHAT
about the many that have had more than one abortion and
to them it's just business, getting on with life, same
as those that have one night stand. Then catch something
like HIV and go mad and get angry at God. HOW can there
be a God, let's me catch this. Well we reap what we sow.
Oh
I'm off, be here all night, sorry. But just take
comfort, okay. I'm comfort myself, when I question what
I've said, have doubts with this, if I'm wrong, in what
i've said to you, Jesus is a lier and we are all going
to hell. Think, if any other religion is right, we all
go to hell, that's one comfort, that makes me have great
faith in Jesus, and the more I do, read, hear, the more
that FAITH grows,
AMEN.
Getting Away With
Murder Let's stick with the "once
saved, always saved" mental masturbation bullshit for awhile
longer and see where evangelical nutcase Kirk Cameron stands
on the issue. Among other places, we find the answer on
his Living Waters website FAQ.
In
all fairness, Kirk does go into a fair amount of detail in his
response. However, and this is undeniable, at the end of
the day he makes it crystal clear: "I
do believe in eternal security for a true
convert." Take note that this bet-hedging
little weasel makes certain to throw in the word true (i.e.
"true convert") to cover his ass. This is just an
extension of the classic "they're not REAL Christians" retort
when apologists are confronted by the evil that self-professed
Christians do. But at any rate, according to Kirk, you
are once saved, always saved. Always.
Now
Kirk also seems to think that atheists are in rebellion
against god as some sort of excuse to get away with
sinning. He truly believes
that non-believers reject god so that they
can't be held accountable for their actions. (Click
here to see for
yourself.)
Okay, so atheists are sinners looking for an
excuse, but Christians, with their sins paid in-full by
the risen Jesus, get a hall pass to ensure
their "eternal security" (i.e. always saved).
They've got a "get out of jail free" card in their back
pocket.
Let's recap.
Kirk has made it
crystal clear that he (and I, like everyone else) is a
sinner. We're all guilty.
I have never committed any act of murder, rape,
molestation, grand larceny, or illegal drug distribution --
just to name a few despicable acts. However, I have used
god's name in vain, lied, stolen, and committed
adultery. (According to Kirk, merely looking at a woman
with lust in one's heart is an act of adultery.)
I don't know any of this for a fact, but I'm
willing to stipulate that Kirk has never committed any
act of murder, rape, molestation, grand larceny, or illegal
drug distribution. However, Kirk has used god's name in
vain, lied, stolen, and committed adultery.
Agreed. Kirk and I are both sinners,
and I think it's fair to assume that we're about on a par, not
that it matters. (And no, it doesn't.) But
according to Kirk (per the video you just watched) I want
to get away with sinning and general evildoing. And
denying god's existence is the way I shirk
accountability.
If this is all true, then I challenge Kirk to
tell me just ONE thing that I'm "getting away with" that he's
not. Just one.
But every clear-thinking,
intellectually honest person knows (if Kirk
is right) that he is the one who's really
"getting away" with something:
Kirk = Sinner -->
Heaven = Getting Away With Sinning
Cherry Picking Hypocrites You
all know by now that while fundamentalists (of any religious
ideology) make me puke blood, I can at least afford them a
modicum of respect for those beliefs and practices in which
they remain consistent. Delusional as they may be, at
least they adhere by and large to their doctrine and practices
as prescribed. But the theists who really make
my blood boil are the cherry picking hypocrites you'll find in
every congregation. Since the Jewish "high holidays"
have just passed, I'll pick on the Tribe today.
Every
REAL Jew who has studied Hebrew knows that Rosh Hashanah (in
English) means "excuse not to go into the office" and Yom
Kippur means "get a day off from work." Well, okay,
maybe not literally, but that's what they both mean
to so many wannabe/pretend "twice a year" Jews. Fact is,
it's a rare thing to find many of these Judeo cherry pickers
attending synagogue on the Sabbath (weekly) or on lesser
holidays of which there are many throughout the year.
When confronted with such a charge, their
catch-all excuse generally falls within the scope of two
narrow ploys. The first is the "I'm doing the best I
can" excuse. This is the equivalent of a pregnant woman
cutting down from 3 to 2 packs of cigarettes a day and using
it as an excuse to continue smoking. You see, she's
doing the best she can. That must count for something,
right? (No, it doesn't.) Sorry, but you might as
well chain smoke 10 packs a day. Your "best" is a
hollow, insincere, and sorely misguided gesture that makes a
mockery of those who take the practice seriously. Now
disingenuous morons are quick to say, "Are you trying to
compare going to synagogue with endangering the life of a
child?" Yes, I am. What part of GOD'S FUCKING COMMANDMENT to
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy" (Exodus
20:8) do you not understand? The order came directly
from god. (This is where you can make the Bastard VERY
happy by admitting that the 10 Commandments, like everything
else in the bible, is the creation of man, not god.) But
no such commandment about smoking while pregnant exists.
As a Jew (or at least a REAL one) you have no say in the
matter, and that makes it as impactful and important as
potentially endangering the life of an unborn child with a
cigarette.
Click here to
see the specific rules regarding conduct on the Sabbath
(and remember the penalty for breaking them). But
hypocrites do as hypocrites are, and they need a loophole when
their own rules get too inconvenient. Learn all about
the Eruv and be
prepared to vomit just a little in your mouth.
The second ploy is what I call the "sense of
community" excuse. These dimwitted numbnuts claim that
attending services on the high holidays fills their need to
bond with other Jews in the community. This, of course,
is nonsensical bullshit. Even if anyone believed you,
how sincere could you possibly be to have such a craving only
once a year?
So you want feel like part of the
community? Join a fucking book club. At least
you'll see those people more than twice a
year. PTA meetings not good enough for you? At
least you'd be lending a concerned hand to the scholastic
success of your children AND the future of your
community. Volunteer to work in a soup kitchen
now and then. There's also the Kiwanis Club and your
local Chamber of Commerce. Or how about attending a
weekly City Council meeting? Hell, just try
going once a month. There is no
better example of community belonging than that, so give up
your lame, tired excuses. And if the Jewish aspect
is really that important to you, join your local JCC
and quit your bellyaching. Mazel tov. You now have
Jews to commune with all year long.
But as for your
twice a year temple appearance, what kind of "sense of
community" is so lacking in your life that is satisfied in six
hours twice a year observing a holiday that you probably know
little about anyway? Stop spewing such bullshit because
you sound like an idiot and no one believes you. You're
reciting the prayers and songs phonetically anyway because
what little Hebrew you remember ends with the alphabet and a
few holiday salutations.
Some who are a bit more clever
in their response will attempt to sidestep the accusation of
hypocrisy with the following overused retort: "I go to high
holiday services to reflect upon my life." Nice try and
beautifully articulated, but this response falls short of
sincerity and logic. Tell me, do you really
believe the shit you're shoveling? You clean your god
damn toilet with greater frequency, or at least I hope you
do. Reflecting yearly upon your life and repenting (as
if that actually means something above and beyond the New
Year's resolutions that you NEVER fulfill) is like wiping your
ass once every 365 days. If I need to explain this to
you then the exercise of reflection and repentance itself is a
colossal waste of your time. The notion that one can
muster up a connection to their synagogue once a year is
insulting to the institution and shameful. Just move
along to your next abomination, speaking of which...
Cherry picking within Judaism is not limited to
congregational attendance. It extends to other doctrinal
practices from the bible itself. My favorite
example is the contingent of morons who claim to [making
sarcastic quote fingers] "keep kosher." The nerve of
these jackasses. Kashrut laws are binary; you either
follow them in totality or you don't follow them at all.
End of discussion. You can't be a little pregnant and
you can't keep a little kosher. You either do or you
don't. Period. You don't get to choose which
aspects of the dietary laws are for the
following.
Again, you'll hear these
duplicitous cherry pickers play the "I'm doing the best I
can" card when asked for an explanation of their rather odd
and selective dietary practices. They don't eat pork for
whatever inane reason they refuse to articulate, but they sure
do love their shrimp, lobster, and cheeseburgers (hold
the bacon of course). Some keep kosher inside the house,
but outside anything goes. And some of these hypocrites
bring traif (non-kosher food) into the house but eat it off
paper plates with plastic eating utensils.
But aside
from making a mockery of these ancient (and required) dietary
laws, these imbeciles reveal themselves to be religious
poseurs who follow only those practices they find
convenient. Shame on them all.
And the whole
fasting thing? Just who do you think you're
kidding? (For those of you who aren't Jewish, know that
virtually ALL of these cherry pickers cheat during the
day.)
Feel free to pick your nose until it bleeds, but
don't cherry pick which doctrinal rules to follow.
Play by the rules for the right reasons or get the
hell off the field. You know you don't believe in the
god of the bible anyway, so stop with the yearly
theatrics.
Idiot or Liar (Take
Your Pick) Anyone with even a passably
functional brain knows not to fuck with nature. We have
an embarrassment of riches proving that mankind’s meddling
with nature is what got us into trouble in the first
place. The forces of nature (and physics) are impersonal
and indifferent to our needs and desires, and it's
more often than not likely to crush us like a bug if
we attempt to stand in its way.
I'm not one bit ashamed to
admit that I laugh my motherfrickin' ass off every time some
jackass tries to conquer a mountain and ends up becoming a
part of it when an avalanche takes the him out.
Hey, I'm all for a thrill, but tempting fate and the laws of
gravity make any parachute jump a knee-slapping entertainment
opportunity for the me. Gimme a front row seat
and I'm a happy guy.
Show of hands. Who among you
knew that "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin was
eventfully going to eat dirt after fucking with one wild
creature too many? We ALL knew it was just a matter
of time, and I shed not a tear for the moron.
Unabashedly I say he deserved it. And he should have
known better. Shame on him for what he knowingly did to
his family.
Okay, enough of mountains, wildlife,
and physics. Let's get naked, baby.
Attention
people of the world. There's a reason why you want to
have sex. Without getting into a long and unimportant
lecture about biology and sexuality (human or other), your
sexual urges are there for a reason of paramount
importance. Our two most basic human urges (which
we just happen to share with every single living organism
on the plant) are survival and reproduction. Kill or be
killed, fuck or be fucked.
Killing is mostly bad (and
sometimes fun!) but we're here to talk about sex.
Yes, there are limits. Forced sex (rape) and sex with a
minor are off limits. Period. But anyone who
plans to remain (or claims to have remained) a
virgin until they wed for religious reasons is either an idiot
or a liar, take your pick. I will happily concede that
my prior generation and those who lived before them played by
a different set of societal rules. But they also wed
much younger than people do today, and as Bob Dylan sang, the
times they are a-changin'. Bottom line is that I didn't
walk in their shoes so I'll exclude them from my commentary on
the issue of human sexuality of the world in which I live
today.
A couple of years ago I
stumbled upon the cranks at I Am Worth the Wait
Revolution (WTW for short) who advocate sexual
purity until the god-sanctioned union of
marriage.
While I'm sure the group doesn't
discriminate, it does appear to be marketed toward urban black
youth, and that's just fine with me. But black, white,
yellow or green, something just ain't right with this
"revolution." To me, for the majority of the
group's members, it's probably an insincere
facade.
WTW is headed by Lindsay Marsh, a chronic
self-promoter who can't go ten seconds without reminding
you that she's a young, attractive MD (anesthesiologist), CEO,
President, creative director, author, entrepreneur, minister
and virgin (alleged).
At first
glance, her website appears to be a marketing tool to
promote her organization and book, The Best Sex of My Life: A
Guide to Purity. But once you dig a little
deeper it becomes clear that it serves more as an
ego-stroking, self-adulating photographic portfolio than
anything else. Looks like Lindsay can't decide if she
wants to be an anesthesiologist or a pin-up
girl.
Marsh (33 years old) is
quite beautiful and it does appear, for as much as one can
discern from a photograph, that her followers are clean cut
and respectable, but I'm not buying any of this abstinence
crap. Not one little bit. My money says they're
abstinent when (and for as long as) it's
convenient.
Take a few minutes to peruse
her site and count the number of ego-inflating glamour shots
of the good doctor. All of them are dripping with
sensuality. And don't think for one
second that she'd have it any other way. Take note
of the motorcycle shot to the right. The nerve of you,
doctor. Who exactly do you think you're kidding?
You're 33 years old. Get over yourself.
By the
way, her website features a (revenue generating) Model Call.
Be sure to read their eligibility
requirements.
If I were a betting man I'd
wager that if called on any lies told, Marsh and her followers
would claim to be "technically"
pure.
Take note that not all of
these waiters claim to be virgins. Many claim to be
abstinent. Big frickin' difference.
Technically, the Godless Bastard is abstinent because he's not
having sex at this very moment. I might get
my swerve on in about 6 hours, but at the moment I'm
"technically" abstinent. [wink wink] Got
it?
And I'd wager big bucks that any of these
[making sarcastic air quotes] "abstainers" will bail on the
program if/when the need, desire, and/or opportunity
arises and then claim to have fallen short of the
glory of god. Bank on it. Hypocrites, all of
them.
But the biggest flaw in their program is the one
thing that they conveniently don't address anywhere on
their website. Nowhere do they define exactly what "sex"
is. To any intellectually honest person, sex (in
plain-speak) is defined as ANY act of pleasure that involves
ANY primary or secondary sex organ. Any other
definition is a rationalization to get off and
remain technically "pure."
I might even extend the
definition to include any erogenous zone if tinkering
with it brings the individual to the point of sexual
arousal. Oh, and how about going solo? Yup.
That's sex too.
I'm sure you all remember Bill
Clinton's lame "I did not have sexual relations with
that woman" loophole. Oral sex isn't "sexual
relations," Mr. President? Since when? Well, the
excuse didn't work for him and it won't work for the
hypocrites at WTW either. They know nothing about human
sexuality (and what defines it) that the rest of us
don't.
And as for Dr. Marsh, I find it particularly
disturbing that a woman of science, someone who is
supposed to know and understand how nature (not god)
made us, can promote the suppression of a natural urge in
favor of a silly fantasy and its inane rules. Such a
dimwitted mindset gives new meaning to the term Board
Certified. Yeah, she's certifiable
alright.
I'll close
with a related parody for horny boys and girls who long to remain pure
for
Christ.
Hypocrisy in the Making: Out of the Mouths of
Babes I'm sick and tired of the talentless
and over-hyped Jonas Brothers for a host of reasons, but this
kind of preemptive hypocrisy tops the list.
In a recent
interview with Barbara Walters, the brothers were
asked about their purity rings and what they represent.
(You can watch it here on YouTube.) Much like those Jews
who claim to "keep kosher" by their own convenient rules
(eating what is forbidden on paper plates inside the home or
anything they want outside the home), Joe Jonas gave Barbara a
very carefully worded answer:
"For us it means that we'll treat
ladies with respect and I think just to be gentlemen and do
our best to make our mom proud."
Apparently, purity rings take on a whole
new meaning when worn on a Jonas finger. You can bet
your salvation that this was a canned response orchestrated by
their publicist or agent. They're not stupid. They
know those rings mean about as much as the hollow words behind
them, and they won't let anyone call them on it after the
brothers start banging every hot chick in their path (if they
already haven't). I'm guessing that "treating ladies
with respect" means to first ask if it's okay to come on
their face. It's the gentlemanly thing to do.
I'm
taking bets and giving odds (3:1). Shit, I'll make it
even easier for you. All three have to wait for marriage
for me to win. Two of the three could have premarital
fetish orgy sex with albino midgets and Russian
amputees ON VIDEO and you'd still have a
chance to win. Anyone who thinks otherwise is encouraged
to put their money where their mouth is. But I'm not in
it for the money. All I care about are the bullshit
hypocritical excuses we'll hear from the brothers, their
agent, publicist, and parents when all the dirt
eventually gets out. And it will. It always
does.
Sherrie Picking A sweet but wacko Jesus-loving friend (Sherrie)
hosted a huge Thanksgiving dinner this year and wanted to
extend an invitation to a friend of mine and her mother, both
of which are vegan and vegetarian,
respectively. Sherrie wasn't sure how to
accommodate their dietary restrictions, so she asked me and my
brother via email.
My
brother replied: A vegan is like a vegetarian,
except that she, for example, won't use something like honey,
because it comes from animal labor. But don't
worry, she has a sliding scale. She had a part of
Martin's ice cream birthday cake, and the milk is from a
cow.
And then
I chimed in: You accommodate vegans the same way
you accommodate Christians: "sliding scale" = hypocrite.
Loopholes and exceptions abound for the personal
pleasure you're not supposed to have (while you tell others
they're not supposed to have either). For Christians
it's premarital sex. For vegans it's a yummy frozen
dairy confection.
For as mind-numbingly STUPID
as it is, for those who don't know the rules for Christians
regarding premarital sex, read this. Sex (of any kind) before you're married
is not permitted. Period.
As
expected, disingenuous rationalizations started rolling
in.
Sherrie
spewed: Bad bad [Godless Bastard]...nobody's a
saint!!! Only God is perfect...
I let
her have it: Spoken like a true Christian.
But first, I never said
was that anyone WAS a saint, that anyone SHOULD be a saint, or
even that anyone COULD be a saint. In fact, I'm positive
that NO ONE can. I just call 'em the way I see
'em. If you talk the talk but don't walk the walk you
get called out for it. This is how it works in my
world. (Yes, MY world.)
And the fact that you
don't stand on a street corner preaching the word or
laying down the rules for others to follow is not particularly
relevant. You are a (self-described) Christian.
It's is the very core of your existence. As
such, the doctrine and rules of your religion are now
yours to follow whether you tell others to do likewise or
not. Just like any other contract, when you sign on the
dotted line you AGREE to abide by the rules and
regulations set forth within it.
Christians who have
pre-marital sex are hypocrites. This is no different
than vegans who break their own rules regarding the
products of FORCED ANIMAL LABOR AND CRUELTY TO
ANIMALS in favor of some delectable ice cream
cake. Similar is the dichotomy by Jews (like Tara)
who won't eat pork but happily chow down on shrimp and
lobster, and happily take two days off from work
for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur yet never set foot
in synagogue on Shabbat. (By the way, Jewish law gives
Shabbat the status of being the most important holy day in the
Jewish calendar.)
Note: Tara is a
mutual friend of ours. She's Jewish by birth
and occasionally observant on her own terms.
But this isn't about
her. I intentionally threw Tara into the mix
just to watch Sherrie make up more of her own rules
for friendly non-believers who don't openly mock her
religion, like me. Like every cherry-picking Christian
on the planet, Sherrie has to create intellectual
loopholes for non-Christian friends and loved ones who would
otherwise BURN IN HELL when they
die.
Your
"nobody's a saint" line is nothing but a
weak rationalization for the intentional personal gain of
physical pleasure because you don't like the rules. If
you declare yourself a follower of ANY precept
(religious, political, economic, or social) governing moral or
ethical thought or behavior, then you (per your own
declaration) agree to accept its rules and follow them.
And if you don't THEN YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE -- even if its
rules are archaic, inane, or pointless. End of
discussion. I'm very sorry that you can't understand (or
won't accept) the meaning of the word hypocrite, but that
doesn't change anything. All you're doing now is doling
out excuses to justify your (mis)behavior. And guess
what? I'll accept each and every one of them. But
you're still a hypocrite.
And for the record, I'm with
you on the pre-marital sex thing. Waiting
until your wedding night to discover that you're
sexually incompatible with your mate is quite possibly
the dumbest thing a Christian hypocrite can do. And note
that I never said that there's anything wrong with being
hypocritical about it. I'm just pointing it
out.
Sherrie
knee-jerked: Hypocrisy is when you don't know the
truth and have some false impression that you're better than
you really are...better than someone else. Just because you
understand that there are rules and a correct way to do
things, it doesn't mean you always do the right thing. That's
why we have to be forgiven...repeatedly. It doesn't excuse our
stupidity. You will never have to worry about me telling you
about how I do everything right...I don't, but I can accept
what I should be...as a goal.
By-the-way, you've
proven my point...No one can follow the law perfectly that's
why there is Grace. And that's why it's a gift because we all
suck...to put it plainly.
If Tara is a good
Jew just 2 days a year...that's better than none. God
notices...
After my
nausea passed, I replied: Wait. Back up.
"Hypocrisy is when you don't know the truth and have some
false impression that you're better than you really
are?" What? See, this is what Christians do.
When they don't like what a word means (and what it implies
about their faith or behavior) they change its meaning.
You need a better dictionary. That is NOT what hypocrisy
means, not even close. Here, I'll help you out:
Hypocrisy.
What I find most
disturbing about your response (aside from your
convenient redefinition of the word) is that you're
pleading ignorance (i.e. "when you don't know the truth and
have some false impression...") as an excuse. If I were
your god I'd shame you for that. Typical, typical,
typical. "Honestly officer, I didn't know I was
speeding."
First, there is NOTHING about the meaning of
the word that even touches upon ignorance. In fact, the
opposite is true. Hypocrisy, by its very definition,
REQUIRES conscious knowledge of what you are doing or have
done.
Secondly, doing the
wrong thing is NOT the same thing as being a hypocrite.
We all do wrong things, but that doesn't make one a hypocrite
-- so stop using the "what I should be...as a
goal" excuse. Have all the "goals" you desire. If
you subscribe to an ideology with a set of rules that you
consciously acknowledge but don't follow then you're a
hypocrite. End of discussion. It doesn't make you
a bad person, but BY DEFINITION (get a dictionary, please) it
makes you a hypocrite. What part of the word do you not
understand?
I'm sure that I'm hypocritical on certain
issues too (and feel free to label me as such where and when
applicable), but I don't subscribe to any ideology that
makes those acts and thoughts damnable sins.
However, YOU do.
And as for your last
statement, you couldn't be any more wrong. "God
notices?" You're making your own rules now? Don't
speak for god. (Wait. What am I saying?
That's the bane of Christian
existence.)
According to Christianity, man is judged
based on his beliefs, not his actions. Tara is not
saved and therefore she will burn on the eternal lake of
fire. But yes, god DOES notice. He notices that
whether she's "a good Jew" two days a year or 365,
she's still not saved. You're just cherry-picking
(again) so that you can feel better about the patently unfair
consequences of sinning, per your religion (infinite
punishment for finite sins). But Tara will burn as
will I and [several other friend's names enumerated]
as well as your own husband, unless we are
saved. Period. Not eating pork and attending
synagogue two days a year isn't going to change that for Tara
or anyone else who hasn't accepted Christ.
Note: Sherrie's husband is Jewish, and he has no
intention of converting to Christianity. When he asked
her if she'd convert to Judaism she replied, "It will be a
cold day in hell..."
You said, "No one can
follow the law perfectly that's why there is Grace. And that's
why it's a gift because we all suck...to put it
plainly." No, you proved MY point. This is exactly
what I've been saying. You just don't like the label
hypocrite. Cackle on all you want about grace.
Mazel tov and I wish you much of it, but your words
don't change anything. Again, if you subscribe to
an ideology with a set of rules that you consciously
acknowledge but don't follow then you're a
hypocrite. Maybe you'll be saved by grace, maybe
you won't. Whatever. But you're still a hypocrite
if you consciously, knowingly, break the rules of your
doctrine.
For added pleasure (and disgust),
read Sherrie's very own inspired Godspeak
sermon.
Get Out
of Jail Free Card One thing is abundantly
clear: Your garden variety Christian is
a cherry-picking hypocrite and fundamentally faithless in
the end.
Enjoy this
textbook case study in how to manufacture
intellectual loopholes when you don't like the
(patently unfair) rules of your religious delusion –-
especially when they work against you or someone you care
about.
Just one of
many frightful intellectual loopholes you'll
discover:
"I believe that God is a loving and
merciful God, and therefore he knows the pain these people are
in. So, no, I do not believe that a Christian who commits
suicide automatically goes to Hell. Some folks who take their
own lives are not mentally capable of rational thought, so I
don't believe they will spend eternity in Hell, either. Some
suicides are simply the result of great, unbearable pain, as
in my brother's case. He fought manic depression for years,
and one day it apparently became too much for him. I believe I
will see him again, and that now his pain has
ended."
Kurt Warner: The Selectively
Blessed Sorry, I'm five months late with
the example I choose to cite here, but I've been meaning to
rant on this peeve for quite some time.
The outspoken
Christian zealot Kurt Warner thanks Jesus when he wins, yet
there's no mention of the almighty dispenser of good fortune
when his team goes down in flames. Kurt, like so
many myopic Christians, is "selectively blessed." In
other words, he gets to choose when god has delivered the
goods. And wouldn't you know it, Kurt
is blessed whenever (and only when) good fortune is
the end result.
How decidedly
convenient.
According to Kurt, Jesus has a vested
interest in the outcome of sporting events.
And god-stake is always claimed after the fact,
never before. Always. Kurt never says
before the game, "Jesus
will bless us with a victory
today." This bet-hedger waits
until the game has concluded and then either stakes claim to a
blessing or silently dismisses his sky daddy in
favor of earthly causation for explanation of the
defeat.
Don't forget, for every loser here's also a
winner, and they're claiming blessings from above as
well. You've seen all these morons on their knees
praying before the game, and sometimes the competing teams
even pray together. Someone's gonna be
disappointed.
Case in point. Below is a
video clip of
Kurt after the conference win that got the
Cardinals to the Superbowl this year.
It's
Monday morning quarterbacking at its finest. And in
Kurt's case, it's
literal.
Come on, Kurt. I dare
you to make such claims before the game.
Where's your faith?
But at any rate, all this Jesus
talk suddenly melted away after their Superbowl defeat.
Ben Roethlisberger threw a 6-yard touchdown pass to
Santonio Holmes with 35 seconds left in the game giving
Pittsburgh a soaring 27-23 victory over the
Cardinals.
Warner didn't mention Jesus in ANY of his
post game interviews. Why is that? I
wonder why he didn't tell us all that Jesus favored
the Steelers with his blessings and that the last catch in the
final moments was [...wait for it...] a "miracle." Let's
not kid ourselves folks, because that's exactly what certain
members of the Cardinals were
claiming.
You see, duplicitous Christians
like Warner get to choose what constitutes a blessing
(i.e. anything good). Nothing positive is the direct and
sole product of hard work and dedication or random chance
because god has a hand in everything. Yet anything
even remotely negative is either willfully ignored or (if the
event is profoundly impactful) rationalized as part
of god's "master plan." Kurt prefers to slink away
in silence.
Jesus must be a Steelers
fan.
Click here to see
Santonio Holmes prove who's got Jesus on their side.
(Hey, isn't this the same picture Greg Brady took
when he was sidelined with a cracked rib?
*)
* If you have no
clue what that means then I'm old enough to be your
father.
